It’s the end of the year, and you may be finding yourself doing an internal assessment of where you are versus where you want to be. Sometimes, the Results can be a real bummer.
However, you can’t let that get you down. You have to keep in mind a couple of things:
- The majority of people aren’t even thinking about if they hit their goal, whatever that is, losing weight, praying more, setting boundaries, etc.
- Even if you didn’t hit the mark, you now have a game plan to get closer to the target. Either way, you win, doll.
In saying that, I get it. It’s hard not to come down on yourself. I do it too. Granted, it’s not a consistent thing, but it happens. Although not perfect, I appreciate my life and where I am on the journey. I’ve taken some proverbial gut punches and have experienced what I consider to be significant losses, but it’s not the falling down that defines our life. It’s not getting back up and believing the falling down dictates our path(s).
This belief system is no bueno, mama/papa. Self-deprecation and negative self-talk are real and insidious. It moves through your head like a parasite. For many, it’s hard to come back from that. However, practicing the gift of grace towards self and celebrating wins, albeit sometimes small, is the one thing we can all do to negate internal negative vibes.
Also, let’s keep it completely 
, shall we? Social media doesn’t make it easy. Especially if you’re not solid in who you are. If you spend any time on social media, you know, there are plenty of folks out there who seemingly have perfect lives, perfect skin, the right clothes, etc. If you don’t fit into that, you may find yourself trying to strive or live up to that. I’m here to say, cut that mess out.
Yes, I know. I also ask myself the same questions as you probably do; what do they do for a living? I see this person on IG 24/7 (does that mean I’m on IG 24/7?
). Don’t they work, lol? But, stop comparing. I recall having the nerve to compare myself to Nicole Murphy several months back, you know, Eddie Murphy’s ex-wife. Someone who has consistent and regular access to aestheticians, trainers, yeah, what was I thinking? I saw a picture of her and was like, “Man! this woman’s body looks better than my body did at…. well, ummm.” 
It was crickets!!! Even when I did have a six-pack (oh, the days), and toned legs, my arms, and back never looked like that! But, I had to stop myself and ask why am I comparing myself to this woman? I don’t even know her, other than what Wendy Williams and the Youtube snippets say about her. Yes, she’s got an amazing figure, and good for her. However, the rest of her life appears to be….well, complicated in a way that I want no part of.
Something my mom said to me when I was a kid when I commented on what I perceived to be a really nice car in the lane next to us, which was “$80k car, but they may not have a pot to piss in, or a window to throw it out of. Or, worse yet, they do, and they’re miserable.” So, yeah, lol, mom didn’t hold a lot of punches. 
Granted, reading it sounds a lot harsher than the way it was said. Nonetheless, the sentiment of that lesson has stayed with me. Make sure I own a home, preferably one that costs more than my car (I grew up in OK – the cost of living was low back then), and money doesn’t equal personal happiness. However, I’ve digressed.
The point is, your priorities may not be aligned to someone else’s priorities, especially for someone you don’t even know. You’re focused on your hustle, your family, education, getting your kids through college, or whatever. Let them be focused on what they do. Now, when it comes to Nicole and me, I refocused my vision. I recognized my personal wins. I’m happy, healthy, and fit. Although I can’t lie, in the morning, my joints are like, “GIRL! can we get some tiger balm, horse liniment? Something?!” LOL. 
So, the next time you consider comparing yourself to someone else’s situation, don’t. Feel free to look at what they’re doing; you can let it motivate you, but don’t let it overtake you and steal your joy, progress, or positive intent to make something good happen in your life. Leave that 
where it was dropped, and keep it moving.
Cheers!
Kris